


Cait's Grump Fics

by skyhillian



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anxiety, Choking, Dirty Talk, Good Game, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, OCD, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Second person POV, Self-Doubt, Snuggling, Stress, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:17:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 10,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8311972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyhillian/pseuds/skyhillian
Summary: The myriad of one-shots/drabbles I've written for my tumblr blogs. Anything under 2,000 words will go here. \\ Send me a prompt at either egobangsies.tumblr.com or skyhillian.tumblr.com!





	1. Polybomb Lovin: Arin/Brian/Dan

**Author's Note:**

> everything is gay and it's great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Arin and Dan loving on Brian and showing him how much he means to them

Brian sighs into the languid kiss he’s sharing with Dan as Arin kisses his neck from behind. He’s had a rough few days, what with Audrey being sick with an ear infection and Rachel being out of town to visit her mother. Kati had volunteered to watch Audrey for the evening so Brian could relax, and once they knew he was free for the evening, Dan and Arin had dragged him to Dan’s apartment.

Brian caresses Danny’s sharp collarbones and he relishes in the gasp that Dan breathes against his lips. He’s settled on his knees between Brian’s spread legs, and Arin is leaning against the headboard with Brian’s back flush against his chest.

They don’t have to say anything to convey the love between the three of them. Brian is so used to being in control of everything and it’s nice to let go of that and just let himself be taken care of.

Danny kisses down his chest until he reaches the waistband of Brian’s boxers. He tugs the garment down and off and settles on his stomach. He kisses over Brian’s thighs while his hand strokes his cock to full hardness. Arin nips and kisses over Brian’s shoulders and rubs his fingers over one of Brian’s nipples.

With a smile, Danny runs his tongue up the length of Brian’s shaft, enjoying the deep groan it pulls from the older man. He tastes salty and musky and familiar as he takes him further into his mouth. It’s the slowest blowjob he’s ever given but Dan wants to drag out Brian’s pleasure as much as possible.

Together, Arin and Dan work to bring Brian to orgasm, and when he finally does, Dan swallows his release down with a groan while Brian tugs at his hair.

Arin maneuvers them into their side and he continues spooning against Brian’s back, and Dan curves his limbs over the both of them.

Brian falls asleep surrounded by two of his favorite people.

 


	2. Dan/Arin Drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the stuff that's too short and whatnot for its own chapter

 

 

 

 

“Why do you always do that with the blanket?” Arin asks between episodes. “Quote unquote normal people just… Y'know… Fuckin’ cover up with it.” Before he can really process what is happening, Danny has scooted as close as he can get and has wrapped the blanket around him, too.

He kisses Arin on the nose and grins. “Burrito kisses!”

It’s an answer Arin will accept.

 

* * *

 

 Danny and Arin have been in the cusp of something more for quite a while and the flirting seems way more real and the tension is insane sometimes And it’s after one of the concerts and they’re sharing a hotel room bc no one wants to share with Snores-A-lot Wecht and Arin got a little too into The No Pants Dance and ganked up his shoulder and Danny offers to rub his back and try to loosen the muscle  
And Arin lays out on his bed with his shirt off after they’ve taken their respective showers and Danny straddles his waist and begins to work his long fingers into the loose muscle  
And Dan is having a small crisis with the pairing of the groans Arins making and the heat of his body underneath him and he just rambles on, talking about how well built Arin is and tracing the freckles on his shoulders and he doesn’t even notice that he’s stopped massaging him and has begun caressing the warm skin underneath his fingertips until Arin suddenly rolls underneath him and he nearly loses his balance with a loud shout  
And he’s ready to ask Arin what the fuck he’s doing but when he looks down he stops because Arins looking at him in a way that makes his tummy do backflips and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands bc he doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch Arin  
Eventually he rests his hands on Arins chest and his skin is so warm against his palms and they just stare at each other for a while before Dan moves and traces across Arins pectoral muscle, watching as it jumps under his touch  
And Arin is afraid to say anything for fear of scaring Dan off bc he knows Dan is so unsure about all of this, that it’s unexplored territory and he feels out of his element But when Dan experimentally brushes his fingertip over one of Arins nipples he moans, the sound choked in the back of his throats and his hips jerk just a bit and Dan just whispers “Jesus fuck” and before they know it they’re pressed together with hands everywhere and their teeth are clashing and Dan tastes metal in his mouth but he doesn’t care because it’s suddenly like he can breathe and _oh god_ why hadn’t they done this before?

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Dude,” Arin begins as he watches Dan wrestle his Sexbang costume off as fast as he possibly can, “it’s not _that_  tight. You’re acting like it’s suffocating you.”

Dan flips him the bird over his shoulder before finally peeling the outfit down to his thighs. His pale butt is fully on display, the light blue thong outlining it perfectly. Arin unashamedly admires the way the color looks against Dan’s skin.

“You try getting a boner in spandex and lameé and tell me how it feels on your dick, bro.” Arin perks up.

“Does that mean you have a boner right now?” Danny giggles at Arin’s eagerness. When he nods, Arin grins. “Let me help you with that.”

Outside of the dressing room the sound of Danny’s giggles morphing into moans can be heard.

 

* * *

 

 Okay but imagine that Arin is in VR and Dan’s been fuckin with him until he’s on edge, and the next thing he does is lean in close enough that Arin feels Dan’s breath on his neck, and he squirms, loudly asking what Dan is doing, to which he says “don’t you worry your pretty head about it, baby girl. Just focus on your game.” And Arin tries to follow along, but then Dan kisses his neck and he drops the controller with a gasp and he can feel Dan’s smirk against his skin. Arin moans shakily when Dan continues to kiss and lick at his skin, but he startles when Dan puts his hand on Arin’s thigh. He’s so keyed up from not being able to see anything, so oversensitized, that when Dan sucks a hickey onto his neck, his hips come off the couch. Dan removes his hand and pulls back from Arin until they’re not touching, watching Arin become confused, all while unconsciously rolling his hips to try and get friction. Arin asks Dan where he is because he can hear him moving, and he yelps when Dan, from between his spread legs, runs his hands up Arin’s thighs to the button on his jeans. He unbuttons it deftly and tugs them down far enough for him to be able to pull Arin’s dick out of the front of his boxers. Arin moans shakily as Dan slowly begins to stroke him. Everything is heightened because he can’t see what’s going on around him. The tightness of denim stretched across his thighs, Dan’s soft hand stroking his cock, spreading the pre with his thumb. He’s so built up that he barely manages to tell Dan that he’s gonna cum right before he does. While he’s still trembling from the orgasm, Dan disappears on him again, and his cry of surprise is muffled when Dan presses his sticky fingers to his lips. Without a second thought he licks them clean, making sure to suck Dan’s fingers and tease them with his tongue so he can hear Dan’s breathing grow shaky.

 


	3. Stress: Barry/Suzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Fluffy Razzaflap please?

Suzy watches Barry from where she’s perched on the couch next to him. Her face is pinched tight in annoyance. She’s forgone makeup today and the circles under her eyes are deep and exacerbated by the dim light in the Grump room.

She had been halfway through editing a new video for KKG when the laptop locked up. She’s at the end of her rope today—her bipolar disorder is being an asshole today on top of the constant stress she has involving her thyroid. And, as a bonus, she’s on her period. When the computer had frozen, Barry heard her scream of pure frustration and had come to see what the problem was.

Barry’s brow is creased in frustration as he tries to get the system to unlock, but after five more minutes of fruitless attempts, he concedes that the only way to fix it is to reboot.

“I’m sorry, Suze,” Barry tells her while he force-resets the laptop. “Did you save beforehand?”

Everything comes to a head at once. “I forgot,” she says quietly before burying her face in her hands. A sob works its way from somewhere deep in her chest and once it starts, the flow keeps coming. God, she’s being so stupid but she’s so fucking tired of everything going wrong.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey,” Barry says quietly. He quickly puts the laptop on the floor and pulls Suzy close. She buries her face into his flannel. His smell is comforting—he uses the same variation of Old Spice that Arin does, but he has the added undertone of sandalwood from his shampoo. “It’s okay,” Barry assures her.

“I’m sorry,” Suzy apologizes through her sobs. “I’m getting snot on your shirt.” Barry chuckles and Suzy feels it more than hears it.

“It’ll wash.” The simple statement causes Suzy to begin crying harder and the rational part of her brain yells at the emotional part to stop being a fucking wuss. Barry rubs her back while rocking them slightly as Suzy cries out her frustration, and when the sobs finally recede to sniffles, he speaks. “Are you okay?”

Suzy wipes at her nose with her sleeve. It’s gross but everything about her feels gross right now so fuck it. “Yeah.” Her voice is crackly from crying and she coughs to clear her throat. “It was just the straw that broke the camel’s back, you know?”

They’re silent for a few minutes while Suzy calms down. Barry has yet to stop rubbing her back. “Later you and I can sit down and edit the footage together, okay?”

“But—”

He makes a ‘bup’ noise to cut her off. “Right now we’re gonna put on some trashy reality show on Netflix and you’re gonna relax.” He’s grabbed the laptop off the floor and is already opening Netflix. Suzy gives up on trying to fight it and she curls into Barry’s lap, effectively using him as a pillow.

It takes less than five minutes of him playing with her hair for her to fall asleep.

 


	4. Cuddling: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Egobang cuddling

When Arin walks into the Grump room, he doesn’t expect to find Dan laying on the couch with one arm covering his eyes. His left arm is hanging over the side of the couch, knuckles grazing the floor. His Giants beanie is clutched between his fingers. He can see Dan startle slightly as he closes the door behind himself.

“Hey, buddy,” Arin says quietly. “You okay?” Dan waves his hat unenthusiastically as a response and Arin frowns. “Sit up.” Dan doesn’t move. “Sit up, you fuckin big galute.”

Dan slowly sits up with a highly disgruntled look on his face. “What?” he demands, watching as Arin lays down with his feet by Dan’s thigh. “Really.” It’s not even a question.

“Shut up and come here,” Arin tells him and Dan just stares. “Fuckin’…” Arin sits up and grabs Dan’s arm, dragging him forward and leaving Dan no choice but to settle on top of him. Dan grumbles under his breath as he shifts on top of Arin so that his knees aren’t digging into Arin’s legs.

Dan sighs deeply when Arin begins brushing his fingers through his mess of curls. “This is really gay,” Dan says offhandedly.

“I mean, we can make it gayer.”

Dan giggles and the light tension from before breaks in half, and Arin can feel Dan begin to relax. The hand that isn’t playing with Danny’s hair is resting above Dan’s hip. The worn fabric of his Rush shirt is soft under his fingertips.

“So, what’s goin’ on today, buddy?” Arin asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Danny is silent for a moment. His long fingers pick at the hem of Arin’s sleeve. “My head is just a little too loud today, y'know?”

Arin makes a noise of understanding. “Anything in particular or is it just a generalized clusterfuck?”

“Just…” Dan sighs again. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”

“Since when is anxiety ever anything but stupid?” Arin asks. “Anxiety is like the fuckin’ definition of shit that you know is stupid and irrational but your brain is just like ‘hey let's fuckin’ panic’ and it _sucks_.” Dan tilts his head upwards so he can look at Arin. “If it’s got you upset, dude, it’s important.” A wry smile spreads across Danny’s face before he looks back down.

“I just… I dunno. I keep waiting for this all to come crashing down, you know? It still doesn’t seem real. Like, I’m fuckin’ almost forty and I’m selling out the fuckin’ Aragon Ballroom by singing about dicks and dancing my scrawny ass around in spandex.” Arin wants to interject but he holds back, opting to wait until Danny is done. “I went from fifteen years of failure to my dream job and you and being able to pay my rent and medical bills.” Dan’s voice drops to a quiet murmur. “I don’t know what success is like, Arin. I’m scared to get attached to the feeling because it’ll inevitably go back to failure.”

Danny yelps when Arin tugs him up high enough for him to rest his head in the crook of Arin’s neck. His nose presses to the underside of Arin’s chin.

“For starters, your scrawny ass looks damn fucking good prancing around in spandex,” he says, and he can practically hear Dan roll his eyes. “In my opinion, you weren’t ever a failure.” Dan begins to speak and Arin pokes between his ribs to shut him up. “The world just wasn’t right at the time for your other stuff. If you did it, it wasn’t a failure.” Arin rubs his fingers over and around the knobs of Danny’s spine as he talks. “I’ve listened to the fuckin’ Northern Hues and Skyhill, bro. I bought the fucking albums! They’re not a failure. You’re not a failure. It was just part of the weird fucking journey to get here.”

“So all that bullshit was so I could one day end up sprawled across your sexy body?” There’s a shake in Dan’s voice that Arin doesn’t point out. He knows Dan is cracking a joke while he tries to keep his emotions in check.

“Of course. All paths lead to this hot bod.” Danny lapses into a fit of giggles, interspersed with sniffles.

“Thank you,” Dan says. They both fall silent, listening to the whir of machines that fills the room. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know.”

“You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, too,” Arin says. His stomach swoops when he feels Dan’s lips press to his neck in a chaste kiss before he burrows deeper into Arin’s side.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” Dan asks quietly.

“Whatever you want,” Arin tells him. Against his skin, he feels Dan’s lips curve into a smile.

 


	5. Naughty Kiss: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Egobang, a naughty kiss

dan’s hands curl into the duvet so hard that his knuckles are turning white. the headboard bumps into the wall at a steady rhythm, accompanied by danny’s breathy moans and arin’s quiet grunts. 

they’re on the cusp between straight up fucking and making love. it’s dirty and sweaty and fucking glorious. dan’s heels dig into the dimples in arin’s back and he honestly won’t be surprised if there are bruises later. 

hot, wet kisses are being pressed up and down his neck and jaw between arin murmuring sweet (dirty) nothings against danny’s flushed skin. “fuck you look so gorgeous like this,” arin tells him, and a quiet whine escapes dan’s throat. arin knows just how to play him like a fucking harp to get him to make a litany of beautiful sounds. 

their mouths meet frantically, and it’s more of a messy colliding of tongues and shared moans than anything else. arin greedily swallows down dan’s musical sounds as he cums, following moments later. he nuzzles dan’s cheek, feeling the stubble scratch at his lips.

“i love you,” he murmurs. dan wraps his arms around arin’s broad shoulders and pulls him to lay on his chest. he’s hot and sweaty and the room smells like sex, but this is one of danny’s favorite parts of lovemaking. he flexes his fingers which are sore from how tight he was  gripping the blanket. the joints pop and he sighs happily. arin’s hair is damp with sweat underneath his fingers but he doesn’t care.

“i love you, too.”

 


	6. Downfall: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first.

“Dan, wait!” Arin cried out desperately, grabbing Dan’s skinny arm in his hand. Dan wrestled out of his grip and turned to face his friend angrily.

“What, Arin? What the fuck do you think you can say to make this any better?” Arin had never once seen Dan angry like this; breathing heavily, face flushed pink and nostrils flared, eyes wild with a mixture of fury and sorrow. 

“I don’t—” Arin tried, but Dan shook his head and laughed hollowly.

“You expect me to jump for fucking joy since you suddenly want me now?” He crossed his arms across his chest and looked Arin directly in the eyes. “Now, after all those fucking months I spent torn up about you?”

“I… I just—”

“You’re like a fucking child, you know that? When I finally, _finally_  start getting over you because I just fucking know that you’re never going to want me back, you decide that you might have a thing for me? What, you couldn’t handle the fact that I won’t be hanging onto your every word and following you around like a kicked puppy anymore?” He can see the tears sparkling in Dan’s eyes. “I doubt you even actually want me; you just want the fucking attention.”

“No, Dan, I really do want you!” He did. He finally fucking realized that he loved the hell out of the man.

“Well, it’s too late, isn’t it? I loved you _so much_ and you didn’t care, so why should I care about your feelings now?” And with that, Dan turned and left the parking lot, leaving Arin standing alone.


	7. Praise Me: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Humiliation, Praise, Dirty Talk

He can feel his face burning all the way up to the tips of his ears and down to his chest but the pure roil of lust that swirls through his body at the same time makes it so, so worth it. He’s got his hands on his ass cheeks, spreading them as far as he can so that Arin can look at his stretched hole, which is clenching around the absence of having anything filling him up. Arin has already cum in him once, and he can feel some of it sliding down his perineum while he waits for Arin to reach full hardness again so he can continue fucking him.

“Look at you, all spread open like a fucking cumslut for me,” Arin practically coos while he strokes his own cock. “You just fucking take my cock, don’t you? Such a greedy little fuck hole, aren’t you?”

Dan moans at the words and between his legs his cock jumps, straining against the cock ring Arin’s placed on him. “Yes.”

Arin rubs the blunt head of his dick against Dan’s asshole and Dan moans again. “You’re such a good little slut though.” He caresses Dan’s bony ass before plunging in balls deep, causing Dan to cry out at the top of his lungs. “So proud of my filthy whore.” The praise makes butterflies dance in Dan’s stomach as Arin pounds into him relentlessly.

“Thank you.”


	8. Sensory Deprivation: Arin/Dan

Everything was pitch black for Arin, seeing as Dan had tied a scarf over his eyes. It had been quiet for too long, and every nerve in Arin’s body was hyper-aware, waiting for the touch that he _knew_  would eventually come. Just as the silence was getting to be too oppressive, Dan’s voice sounded next to his ear and he jumped in surprise. Dan’s voice was low and gravelly, and Arin could feel the flush rising up his chest and neck at the sound of it.

“Do you know how gorgeous you look like this, baby girl?” Dan trailed a finger down Arin’s chest and over his nipple, causing the younger man to cry out. “I’ve barely done anything and you’re already so ready for me.” Arin whimpered and Dan grinned. “I’m going to _wreck you_.”


	9. Tease: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is it obvious yet that egobang has my heart

A primal whine pulled from Dan’s throat as Arin’s tongue swirled around his nipple before tugging the rosy bud between his teeth. No girl had ever played with his nipples and he had no idea how sensitive they were. Arin kissed and nipped his way down Dan’s torso and trailed his tongue over the indent of one of his hips and Dan cried out. His hips were one of his biggest erogenous zones. 

“Arin, _please,_ ” he cried, shifting underneath his friend as he continued to assault his hip bones and pelvis. Arin chuckled quietly and the flow of his breath across Dan’s feverish skin made his cock jump.

“Oh, baby, I haven’t even started yet.”


	10. I Love Yous: Dan/Arin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a headcannon i had

dan says i love you to basically everyone before he hangs up the phone and one day after arin hears dan say “i love you” to barry when he hangs up he realizes that dan doesnt say it to him on the phone and he gets all confused and sad for a long moment before dan notices that arin’s entire demeanor has changed

and he asks “whats up big cat?” and arin just stares at him for a long moment before bluntly asking

“do you love me?”

and dan’s eyes widen and hes super fucking confused because of course he loves arin like what??? and he’s just

“of course man what the hell are you talking about?? i love you to pieces”

and arin nervously runs his fingers through his hair and quietly says “well why dont you tell me that when we get off the phone like you do for everyone else?”

and dan just sighs because arins self doubt makes him super bummed and like he scoots close to arin and snuggles up to his side like he did at the end of skyward sword 2 and he says

“i tell you all the time during the day and when we grump so i just kind of thought that you knew i love you even if i dont say it on the phone” and arin suddenly feels kind of dumb because _duh dan is right_  but he voices the niggling little thought in his head of

“well what if like we got off the phone and you didnt say it and something really bad happened?? i dont think id be able to handle that you know?”

and dan sits up slightly and kisses arin’s cheek softly and wraps his arms around his squishy middle and says that he promises to say i love you at the end of phone calls from now on


	11. anxious: dan/arin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another headcannon my anxious ass had

every now and then danny wishes that he had never thrown his prozac into that goddamn lake in france because sometimes he _really_  needs one. he thought he was past this ocd bullshit where his thoughts are in control of him and not the other way around like it goddamn should be and they swirl and they swirl and it’s like a tidal wave coming up from underneath the floor and sucking him under and he can’t breathe _oh god he cant breathe_

and at these points its not just the stupid **i want to go out for ice cream but that ice cream place is named ‘johns ice cream’ and my ex when i was twenty four left me for a guy named john and i can’t do this because it hurts**

no, it’s the **you need to call arin and tell him you cant come in and you need a break but if you call him he’ll think that you’re flaking out and then he’ll get afraid that you’re going to leave like jon did and then he’ll preemptively cut you off to save himself the pain and you’ll lose absolutely everything so it’s better if you just stay right here and don’t talk to anyone**

and it goes on for two days before dan gives barry more than a quiet “im sick, im okay” through the door and that’s only because loud fists bang on the wood and danny curls into himself farther when arin’s voice calls out and tells him to open the fucking door before he knocks it in and dan’s thoughts are swirling out of fucking control telling him **this is it hes come to fire you your entire life is over your career your friends your life**

and a few minutes later arin jimmies open the door with the rod shaped key barry hands him and he finds dan curled up on the floor between his bed and the wall with his fingers woven tight into his hair and he’s crying so hard and barry wants to help but he knows that arin has it under control so he begrudgingly leaves arin with his roommate

when arin sits down across from dan he realizes that dan is muttering **i’m sorry**  over and over and over and he carefully untangles dan’s wild hair from between his fingers and pulls him onto his lap and wraps him tight, tighter than the thoughts themselves are and he tells dan that he loves him and that it’s okay and that he’s not going anywhere and that they’ll get him back into therapy if he needs until it blends together into one long string that wraps itself around dan’s heart and heats him from within

it takes almost an hour before dan stops crying and he tells arin what’s going on but once he does he feels all the fight drain out of his body and he’s tired all the way down to his bones and when arin tucks him into his massive bed he begs for him to stay and he’s surprised when arin shucks off his jeans to reveal his boxers and he climbs into bed and wraps his body around dan in an attempt to shield him from everything and dan knows right then that no matter what his stupid fucking mind tells him, arin loves him and he won’t go anywhere without him.


	12. Countdown: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why do you only come to me when you're high?

You lie on the couch in the living room and stare at the drab beige of your ceiling paint. A car drives by on the street and their headlights project devious shadows that dance across the room before disappearing into their hiding places once again.

It’s been five minutes since you and Dan came, and you begin counting backward from ten. In ten seconds, Dan is going to push away from you, grumble about being ‘too old for this shit’, tug his clothes back on, and head back to his house all before you (hopefully) wake up. 

 _Nine_ …

The thing is, you think while you’re ticking back the seconds until the inevitable, you’re never actually asleep when he leaves. He just prays you don’t say anything and so far, you haven’t.

_Four…_

You want to know. You want to know _so bad_  why he can only climb into your arms when he’s stoned off of his goddamn face. You want to know why when the sun comes up the two of you pretend like nothing is different. You want to know what’s so goddamn wrong with you that he can only stand to touch you when the memories will be drowned in a haze of smoke and the smell of musk.

_Zero…_


	13. Last Time: Arin/Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so much angst in so few words

It’s nearing two thirty in the morning when there’s a knock on your door. A deep sigh rustles from your bones and you pause the game you were half-assing. You know it’s Dan. You also know that when you open the door you’re going to be met by wide-blown pupils, half-lidded eyes, and wandering fingers.

For a moment you consider not answering the door and just letting the fucker stand outside on your porch in the middle of the goddamned evening.

You laugh; there’s no humor in it. Who are you kidding? Of course you’re going to let him inside—this is the only time he’ll touch you in the way you want and you know it’s not healthy for either of you to go on like this, you don’t care. You’ll take it where you can get it where Dan’s concerned.

You pad barefooted to the front door and open it to find exactly what you had expected. Dan’s eyes are hooded and you can barely see the warm brown of his irises for the width of his pupils. The sclera of his eye is bloodshot and there’s a goofy, lazy grin plastered on his face.

“Arin, baby,” he croons, and part of your body heats up at the words, and another part feels like it’s been slapped. “I was startin’ to think you weren’t gonna open the door.”

You step aside to allow him to cross the threshold, where he toes off his dad-shoes and you shut the door behind him. He sprawls out on your couch, and when you stand next to him, he pulls you on top of him so you nestle between his splayed legs. 

You can taste the acrid smoke on his tongue when he kisses you, and again, you tell yourself that this is the last time you’ll do this, you know it won’t be. It never is.


	14. Musical Practice (Dan/Arin) HS AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're in charge of audio/lights and every time I come in to practice, you blast All Star."

Dan pushes open the doors to the auditorium. It’s seemingly empty, which Dan is grateful for. The last five times he’s been in here to practice his solo parts, the weird Hanson kid who’s in charge of lights and audio for the show has interrupted him. He’s pretty sure Arin isn’t in here, and he sighs, relieved. He’s got several parts where the ensemble won’t be singing with him, and he wants to make sure he’s perfect for opening night. He never thought he’d try out for anything, but they were doing Rock of Ages! His 80s loving heart couldn’t say no, and he had somehow managed to land himself the part of Stacee Jaxx, though he’s still not entirely sure how he managed that. 

Dan stretches his arms above his head and groans happily at the resounding crack. Sitting in a school desk that he was way too tall for for eight hours a day is going to give him a permanent curve to his spine by graduation, he’s sure. His vocal warm-ups echo loudly in the empty room, and he feels like an idiot while making such weird noises, but they’re necessary. After five minutes of ridiculous babbling to warm up his voice, Dan starts with ‘Wanted Dead or Alive" since he’s almost completely on his own for the number. He’s halfway into the second line when a deafening noise comes from the speakers up above. 

##  **_SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME–_ **

 " _Hanson_!“ Dan shouts, frustrated as all fuck. This is the sixth time this week! It takes a moment to spot him, but when Dan does, he has no clue how he missed him. The dude is wearing a bright fucking pink shirt, for Christ’s sake! Arin is up on the catwalk laughing his fucking ass off while the shitty sound of 'All-Star’ continues to reverberate off the walls. "Fuckin’ piece of shit,” Dan mutters, marching over to the ladder that leads to the catwalks above. “Shitty taste in music, listening to this bullshit.” He keeps muttering angrily as he ascends, and soon enough he’s standing behind Arin, who looks like he might topple over the railing with how hard he’s laughing. Dan slams his hand down on the switch that turns off the music, which only makes Arin laugh harder. “I’m gonna body slam you,” Dan threatens, glaring at Arin. 

“I’ve never been body slammed by a pipe cleaner with hair before,” Arin says, still laughing slightly. 

“Fucking,” Dan begins, using the word as a placeholder for the start of his sentence. “What’s the deal, man? I gotta practice for this shit! Like, I just, do you wanna be responsible for me whiffing it in front of the entire school?” Arin is still giggling, but he’s getting it under control. 

“Sorry, dude. You’re fun to mess with. You’re really cute when you’re pissed off.”  

“That’s not–wait, what?” Dan feels the telltale heat in his face that signifies he’s blushing. Thank god it’s dark up on the catwalk. 

 Arin’s grinning, but he barrels on like he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary. “And besides, you’re already gonna steal the show from the rest of the cast. If you keep practicing it’ll just be cruel." 

"What?”

“You say 'what’ a lot, don’t you?” Dan wants to wipe Arin’s shit-eating grin right off his face.

“You think I’m cute?”

“Well, yeah,” Arin says, like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “I _do_ have eyes.”

 "Quit being an asshole,“ Dan snaps, but it lacks malice.

"Aw, but what will I do with the rest of my life then?" 

"Arin, fuckin… shut up for a second before I actually body-slam you.” Arin leans back against the railing and fixes Dan with a heated look. Dan tries and fails to ignore the way it makes his stomach flop.

“Promises, promises.” Dan covers his face, exasperated. “At least take me to dinner first.”

“Fine. Be ready at six.” Once he gets back on the floor, he looks up to see Arin dancing in place up on the catwalk. He rolls his eyes.

When he picks Arin up that night, he uses a great deal of restraint to keep from pushing him right back out the door when Arin flings it open and starts singing All-Star at the top of his lungs. Dan’s got the feeling that this is going to be the start of a ridiculous relationship.


	15. Polybomb Cake Baking (Dan's Birthday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from lygerzero14: For Dan's birthday, Arin and Brian try to bake a cake from scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on my tumblr for Dan's birthday!

“Why does it look like it has erectile dysfunction?” Arin asks, miffed at the way the cake is drooping on one side. 

Brian is reading over the directions they had written down with a frown on his face. “Arin, why must your handwriting look like someone handed a blind chimpanzee a crayon and told it to write the Gettysburg Address?”

Arin looks over his shoulder at Brian. He’s wearing his apron and he looks adorable, albeit confused as he continues to try and decipher the baking instructions. “What kind of fucking simile is that, bro?”

“A good one,” Brian fires back. “Does this say 3 ½ teaspoons of baking powder or 3 ½ _tablespoons_?” Arin snatches the index card from Brian and scans it. It’s his own damn handwriting and he has a bit of trouble figuring out what it says. 

“Whoops.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Brian mutters. Grabbing a fork from the drawer, he takes a small bite of the cake and promptly spits it out.

“That good, huh?” Arin asks sheepishly.

Brian tugs the apron off and grabs his keys off of the table. “You’re paying for the cake we have to go buy.” 

When they get it home, Brian frosts a giant dick on it.


	16. Learning to Bake/Flapbang (Dan's Birthday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from HerbertBest: Suzy teaches Dan how to make a cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on my tumblr for Dan's birthday!

When Suzy asks him how he ended up with flour all over his shirt, he replies that he has no idea, though he’s well aware that it happened when she was searching the pantry for shortening. He had fumbled with the measuring cup and dumped at least a fourth of a cup of flour on himself.

Things like this are why he doesn’t bake anything unless it comes out of a box or weed butter is involved.

“Just… mix this, would you?” Suzy asks, exasperated. She passes him the flour and milk mixture, which needs beaten until it’s properly combined. She pokes his chest with the whisk. “Do you think you can handle this?” He takes the implement from her and begins mixing the two ingredients.

“Why, Suzanne,” Dan says with a gasp and a dramatic tone, “quite frankly I’m insulted that you think I’m incapable of such a task.” He’s barely finished the sentence before he’s splashed some of it on the counter.

He doesn’t blame her when she banishes him to the living room while she finishes making the cake.


	17. Wedding Rings (Dan/Arin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s left the choosing of their wedding bands up to Arin, since Arin seemed so excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on my tumblr for Dan's birthday!

He’s left the choosing of their wedding bands up to Arin, since Arin seemed so excited. Don’t get him wrong, he’s excited too, but he doesn’t necessarily feel he needs a ring to symbolize how much he loves his husband. 

He’s curled up on the couch with a book on his lap when Arin comes bursting through the front door with the mail. Dan spasms and loses his place, but he can’t bring himself to be too miffed because Arin is practically bouncing in place.

“They’re here!” he exclaims, and Dan smiles. Arin ordered their rings off of a well-known Etsy, and he wants to make sure that they fit properly before the wedding. It would really suck if one of them went to slide the band onto the finger and it’s too small or too large. Arin climbs unceremoniously over the back of the couch, nearly clocking Dan in the back of the head. He ends up sprawled half upside down.

“Christ, Ar!” Dan laughs, shoving Arin’s leg away from where it’s propped on his shoulder. “Use the furniture like normal people do.”

“No.”

Well, then.

“Are you gonna let me try on the ring or are you just gonna clutch the package to your chest like a madman?” Arin quickly rights himself on the sofa, tucking his knees under his butt as he faces Dan. He’s so excited and happy and he looks so beautiful in that moment that Dan can’t help but lean in and kiss him softly. It tickles him that Arin’s cheeks still turn a light pink whenever he gives him a kiss, despite the fact that they’ve been together for five years. “C’mon, Big Cat! Open it.”

Arin mutters something about Dan being impatient, but he obliges and tears open the package. Inside is a cardboard box, and nestled within that are two velvet boxes. Arin cracks one open to see who’s it is before closing it again. He hands that one to Dan. 

The black velvet is soft under Dan’s thumb as he pets the box. He stares at it while Arin fishes his own ring box from the package before dropping the empty cardboard container on the floor. He still can’t believe that after all this time, he’s holding _his_  wedding ring. He’d honestly thought he would never get married, especially not at almost forty, but he’s come to realize that it only took so long because he was waiting to find Arin.

“Go on,” Arin says, sounding a little nervous, “open it.”

Dan opens the box and his eyes fill with tears. The ring is a beautiful, light titanium, while the inside is deer antler. The outside is engraved with a line from Song of Songs, in the Book of Solomon. It’s one of the few pieces of Hebrew that Dan actually knows, since he had always thought it was beautiful. It reads  **אני לדודי ודודי לי,** which translates to _I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine._ With shaking fingers, he removes it from the box and slips it onto his ring finger. It fits perfectly. When he looks up, Arin has his on as well. His is titanium and purple heart wood, with the same phrase engraved. His fits perfectly, too.

“Oh, Arin,” Dan whispers before tugging his fiancé close and burying his face in his shoulder. The smell of Arin’s strawberry shampoo floods his senses, and he burrows closer. 

Arin kisses the side of his head and rubs his back, tracing the knobs of his spine through his shirt. “Do you like them?”

Dan raises his head, showing the tears running down his cheeks. He cups Arin’s face and kisses him, hoping that the amount of emotion he’s pouring into the action translates. When they part, Arin’s eyes are shiny with tears, too. “I love them. I love _you_.” He kisses him again. “I can’t wait to be your husband.”

_ links to rings: [dans](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.etsy.com%2Flisting%2F495001251%2Ftitanium-and-antler-rings-mens-antler%3Fga_order%3Dmost_relevant%26ga_search_type%3Dall%26ga_view_type%3Dgallery%26ga_search_query%3D%26ref%3Dsr_gallery_3&t=Mzc2NjZlM2QwOGY2ODBjNDU2MGNhYjllNWFjNzkwOTliNTFkNmQ0Yix6NlY5a3ROaQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A_yAZuqwWvoTRDyWPQhd4fA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fprincessflorp.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158468165245%2Fegobang-wedding-rings-can-be-an-au-with-no-suzy&m=1) / [arins](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.etsy.com%2Flisting%2F269276241%2Ftitanium-purple-heart-wood-wide-band%3Fref%3Dshop_home_active_31&t=ZGFkMDJhY2NjNDgzOWU3NWZlYzA2N2EzZjc4ZWU0MThkZjdlMDYxMSx6NlY5a3ROaQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A_yAZuqwWvoTRDyWPQhd4fA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fprincessflorp.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158468165245%2Fegobang-wedding-rings-can-be-an-au-with-no-suzy&m=1) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the Hebrew is wrong, I sincerely apologize. I looked several places and i got the same answer. If it's incorrect please tell me!


	18. You're Beautiful (Dan's Birthday, Dan/Reader)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: May i request Danny with a chubby s/o who's been feeling down about their body? Ty!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've written with 'them/theirs' as a pronoun and I hope I did it justice!

Dan scrubs at his hair with a towel, drying it off as much as possible before combing it back to keep it out of his face as it dries and inevitably attempts to envelop his head whole. He hasn’t bothered to bring in anything other than a fresh pair of boxer briefs, and he sheds the blue towel he has hanging around his waist. On his way to the bedroom, he deposits both dirty towels into the laundry basket. He’ll start the washer after he gets dressed, he tells himself, though he knows in his heart that he probably won’t get it started until well after lunch.

He pauses in the doorway of the bedroom, however, when he’s greeted with the sight of his date mate sitting on his giant bed, shirts strewn around them. They themselves are shirtless, and they’ve got their face buried in their hands. It takes a second, but Dan realizes that their shoulders are shaking; they’re crying.

“Baby?” Dan asks, immediately concerned. He climbs onto the bed and settles down across from them and tentatively brushes his hand against their arm. 

“Don’t,” they say, voice thick with tears, and Dan jerks his hand back. Usually they’re okay with being touched when upset, but sometimes it’s a _no-no_. “Don’t touch me. I’m disgusting.”

Dan’s heart falls into his stomach. He’s been working super hard on self esteem with them, and most days are good. Some days, however, are like this. “Sweetheart,” Dan says softly, hoping to get them to look at him. He doesn’t want to touch them again without consent and upset them further. “Will you please look at me?”

After several seconds of consideration, they look up but keep their arms close to their body to hide their torso. “What?” Their eyes are filled with tears, and Dan longs to kiss them away.

“Can I touch you?” he asks, and they look away, ashamed.

“Why would you even want to?”

“Please?” He holds out until they nod yes, and he takes their smaller hands in his, slowly easing their arms out of the shielding position to rest limply at their sides. 

“Dan,” they whisper, voice wavering.

Their body is absolutely beautiful, Dan thinks. He’s always thought so. They don’t look like a supermodel, but no one does. Their skin has scars and blemishes from acne, and there are rolls of skin and fat and soft curves, and he wants to kiss every inch of it until they know just how breathtaking they really are.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Dan says, kissing their forehead. “Everything about you drives me crazy.”

“But what about—” Dan cuts them off with a chaste kiss.

“Whatever you’re about to criticize is just another part of you that I love,” he says. Giving them time to reach out and push his hands away if they want, Dan lays his hand across their hip and stomach, caressing the rolls and curves he finds there. The skin is soft, and the trails from stretchmarks ripple underneath his fingertips. “What’s your brain telling you about your body?”

They chew their bottom lip and rub at their eyes, trying to clear out the tears that still linger on their eyelashes. “That I’m fat and disgusting,” they say, “and that you could find someone, _anyone_ , better than me.”

Dan pushes their hair back out of their face and cups their jaw, brushing a thumb over their neck, feeling the fluttering wings of their heartbeat. He kisses them softly, moving their lips together slowly and sweetly. It’s innocent—something that you would see on TV in a teen movie, but it’s filled with enough emotion to make someone burst. “You’re so beautiful,” Dan reiterates when they part, kissing down their face and to their neck. He makes sure to kiss the blemishes from acne as he passes them. “I love you and every single part of you.” He kisses their collarbones and down their chest, across the stretchmarks and imperfections. One of his thumbs brushes over a nipple, and it hardens under his touch.

“Are you sure?” they ask, voice now growing shaky for another reason all together as Danny continues to kiss over their body, worshiping everything that they find fault with. Dan helps them lay back against the covers and he looks up through his eyelashes as he continues lavishing the skin underneath his lips with attention.

“I promise you,” he says, and squeezes the padding on their hips. “You’re a masterpiece, and there’s no one else that I would rather have right here than you.”


	19. Angst 1 (Dan/Arin)

“Swear it, you fucker,” Arin spits with venom, and he can see Dan clench his fists at his sides. “Swear that this means nothing to you and Ill stay the fuck away from you.” Dan tugs on his jeans and pulls his shirt over his head. It’s inside out but he doesn’t fucking care. He just wants out of this fucking house and away from this string of mistakes. “You can’t do it, can you?” Arin is goading him and he knows it, but god fucking dammit, Dan wants him to shut up. He turns on the younger man, forcing himself to ignore Arin’s state of undress. He’s got nothing on but the sheet that’s draped around his waist. The hickies Dan had left all over his neck stand out like ink splotches on a new sheet of paper.

“This means nothing to me,” Dan says, voice hard with anger. “It never fucking has and it never fucking will. You’re just another whore for me to fuck.”

Arin smirks and Dan wants to slap it right off his face. His fists clench harder at his sides. “Then by all means, leave.” Dan grabs his jacket and as he’s headed out the door, Arin calls, “You’ll be back. You always come back.”

Dan slams the door hard enough that the pictures on the wall rattle. He’s right. He’s always right.


	20. Engagement Sex (Rylex)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rating: e  
> warnings: hair pulling, talk of choking

Alex grips the headboard until his fingers are white-knuckled, and he lets out an embarrassingly loud moan as Ryland bottoms out inside of him. Ryland’s fist is clutching Alex’s wild curls, pulling hard enough that he has to arch his back. He whines with every exhale as static electricity shoots down his spine and pools in his gut.   
  
Ryland, who is very different in the bedroom than he is outside of it (which made Alex very happy since he’s the only one who knows this side of Ry), leans forward to nip at Alex’s ear. “My ring looks so pretty on you,” he purrs, and then groans quietly when Alex clenches around him. “Now everyone  _knows_  you’re mine.”

Ryland had been unsure at first about the possessiveness thing, but after realizing just how crazy it drives Alex, he uses it whenever he wants to make Alex melt. He grinds his hips against Alex’s, and the older man moans roughly and clenches around Ryland again.

Alex’s brain melts out of his ears when Ryland begins snapping his hips, causing their skin to slap loudly as it meets in the quiet of their room. The tugging on his hair disappears, only to be replaced by Ryland’s large hand around Alex’s throat. He doesn’t have to do much more than give a gentle squeeze before Alex is shuddering and whining. 

Ryland mutters filthy things into Alex’s ear as he fucks him, and every word makes Alex’s brain turn to mush even more. By the time his orgasm hits, he’s nearly mindless, begging to cum between wanton moans.

He shoots his load across the headboard with a wail, and moments later he feels the telltale warmth of Ryland cumming inside of him, and he whines again. Ryland eases out of him, and Alex falls face first against the pillows. Ryland snorts and he goes to get a washcloth to clean up their mess.

When he comes back, he sees Alex admiring his engagement ring with a happy little smile on his face. Ryland can’t wait to spend the rest of his life waking up to that dorky little grin.


	21. Morning Sex (Commanderbang, Dan/Holly)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rating: E

Dan has to admit that one of his  _favorite_ things about waking up in bed tangled in his lover’s arms (aside from seeing their beautiful, pillow-creased face when they wake up) is the absolute wonderous joy that is morning sex. It’s one of the things he always missed the most when he was single, but now that he’s got a wife, he doesn’t really have to worry about missing it.

He’s woken up by gentle kisses to his collarbone and a cool, dainty hand on his morning wood. A low rumble escapes his chest and he smiles. “Mmm, good morning indeed,” he murmurs. Holly chuckles and nips at his clavicle gently, causing Dan to gasp.

He cups her face and leans down to capture her lips. They both have morning breath so it totally cancels the other out (it truly doesn’t, by the way), but nothing is stopping Dan from kissing Holly right now. She’s so beautiful with her tousled lilac hair and her little freckles that have been brought out by the sunshine.   
  
Danny rolls them over, laying Holly out on her back, and he settles between her legs with a content hum. Holly threads her fingers into his hair and tugs gently, and then she moans when it causes Dan to rock his hips against hers.

Holly is already absolutely soaked, and the head of Dan’s cock brushes against her. He bites his lip. “Goddamn, baby,” he murmurs between kisses to Holly’s neck. Because she’s so wet, he doesn’t bother with foreplay, and he slowly eases into the heat of her pussy with a moan. Holly’s own moan is musical.

She wraps her legs around Dan’s waist, and he pins her hands above her head and he intertwines his fingers with hers. He moves with slow and deliberate thrusts, pulling out until he’s just barely inside of her before thrusting back in with a roll of his hips. They’ve only been together for three years, but he knows how to play her body like they’ve been together for thirty.

They kiss the moans from each other’s mouths as they make love, and even though it seems like it lasts forever, it only takes about ten minutes of slow thrusts and grinding hips for Holly to cum with a cry of Dan’s name as she soaks the sheets underneath her. Dan moans into the crook of her neck and he empties himself into her, shivering. 

While he softens and catches his breath, Dan peppers Holly’s face and neck and shoulders with butterfly kisses, finally ending with a sweet kiss on her lips.

“I love you,” Dan murmurs, and Holly smiles up at him. “This is one hell of a good morning.

“It’s a damn good morning, indeed.”


	22. Sing to Me (Egobang, Arin/Dan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sing to Me" prompt

In the dark of the hotel room, Arin rolls over in an attempt to get comfortable for the eighty seventh time in the past sixteen minutes, and it’s followed by a loud, drawn-out sigh. Dan is currently reading by the light of his book light, since he fell asleep for a few hours before dinner. He’s not tired enough to fall asleep, yet, so he figured he’d read a couple of chapters before laying down again.

Arin’s restlessness, however, makes him pause. He marks his place and he puts the book down. The book light is pointed towards the ceiling, casting just enough of a glow that Arin can see Dan’s face.

“You okay over there, buddy?” Dan asks softly. Even though they’re both awake, he feels like he should be quiet since it’s late. Arin sighs loudly.

“Yeah. I just can’t fall asleep.”

Dan taps his fingers quietly against the cover of the book and he purses his lips. After a moment, he takes his glasses off and puts the book on the side table, and he flips the switch on the book light. Arin can hear the rustling of Dan moving in his bed, and then he feels the weight of Dan’s knee on his own mattress. “Scoot over,” Dan says, and Arin obeys, scooting to the other side of the bed. “Not that far, you doofus.” Arin hesitantly scoots back over until there’s about a foot between him and Dan.

“Are you trying to get in my pants?” Arin asks teasingly. He can almost hear Dan roll his eyes.

“Arin, you’re not  _wearing_ pants,” Dan points out. He pokes Arin’s hip. “And I don’t have to  _try_. Now shut up and get comfortable.”

Arin grumbles. “Bossy,” he mutters to himself, but he does as Dan says, rolling onto his belly away from the other man. He sighs with contentment when he feels Dan’s hand rest against his bare back and begin to rub gently. Danny knows just how he likes it–with the very tips of the fingers or the nails, in gentle nonsensical patterns.

After a few minutes of silence, Arin speaks up. “Will you sing for me?” He sounds shy, like he’s worried Dan will say no.

“Of course,” Dan says, and Arin can hear the little smile in his voice. 

_Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing. Say, women, they will come, and they will go. When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know, you’ll know._

Dan’s voice is beautiful as always, and it wraps around Arin like a cocoon. This isn’t the first time Dan has had to sing him to sleep and it won’t be the last, he’s sure. He doesn’t know the song, but it’s pretty, and it’s very mellow. Danny barely makes it to the second chorus before Arin is starting to drift off. The singing stops when Dan realizes Arin’s almost asleep, but he continues rubbing the other man’s back.

Dan kisses Arin’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Big Cat,” he whispers.

When morning comes, he’s still snuggled into the bed with Arin.

 


	23. Pretty Hands (Flapbang, Dan/Suzy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Kelsey: You have pretty hands.  
> rating: t

Dan isn’t entirely sure how he finds himself sitting in Suzy’s office, lounging in one of the comfy chairs while she paints his nails. She’s having a stressful day–her bipolar disorder has been acting up and she’s a little unsteady. She doesn’t have the energy right now to do her makeup, so instead she shyly asked Dan if she could paint his nails to relax.

She even promised to remove it afterwards, but as he watches her paint his fingernails with precision, he thinks he might leave it on for a little while. 

It’s quiet while she does his huge ass thumb, making sure she doesn’t get any polish on his skin. When she finishes his right thumb, she moves onto his index finger. The color is a [deep navy](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F564x%2F91%2F36%2F8c%2F91368c9be418fb1299f381685088bb28.jpg&t=MmY5MzkyNzZiNjhkNzkyMGQxNTZhOGM2MmY4Mzc1MzFlNmIxYWVmZixPc1c0NkwycA%3D%3D&b=t%3A_yAZuqwWvoTRDyWPQhd4fA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fegobangsies.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176113532975%2Fflapbang-you-have-pretty-hands&m=1), and it sparkles like a Danny Sexbang costume would. 

“You have pretty hands,” Dan blurts out, and then he snaps his mouth shut and looks away, face quickly darkening with a blush. He’s not sure where that came from. Suzy’s own nails are done up in a holographic black and red, bringing out the paleness of her skin even moreso. Her hands are soft and Dan knows from years of being friends with her that they usually smell like freesias. 

Suzy smiles, and when she finishes the nail she was working on, she puts the brush back in the bottle and she looks up at Dan. “I don’t think I’ve heard that one before,” she teases. “Has that one ever gotten you a date?”

Dan splutters. “Suzy!” 

She starts giggling. “Sorry, sorry.” She shifts Dan’s hand and grabs the brush again. “Thank you. Your hands are beautiful, too.”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “We  _are_ talking about the same pair of hands, right?”

Suzy nods, and she doesn’t say anything until she’s finished with his pinkie finger. She takes the naked hand in her own, and she runs her soft fingertips over the back of Dan’s large hand, over the prominent veins and large knuckles. Dan’s hair stands up on his arms and he swallows, making his throat click. He clears it.

“I’ve always really liked your hands,” Suzy admits, and Dan is pretty sure she’s blushing. She ducks her head, letting her dark hair fall in her face as she begins painting the remaining nails. 

Dan’s mind, of course, goes to the gutter, and he’s happy Suzy isn’t looking at him or she’d scold him. She can read him so damn well now. When Suzy is all done with his nails and he’s waited for them to dry, she puts on a quick-dry topcoat. 

The topcoat sets quickly, and Dan takes Suzy’s small hand in his, and he kisses the back of it. She giggles quietly. “Thank you for the lovely manicure.” She rolls her eyes and ruffles Dan’s hair, causing him to pout.

“Thank you for being a lovely friend,” she tells him, and Dan smiles.

“Always, Scuze. Always.”


	24. Voyeur (Rylex)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Anonymous

pairing: rylex (ryland/alex)  
rating: e  
warning: voyeurism

* * *

 

Ryland has been scrolling through his phone, listening to music for the past half an hour. He’s thirsty and uncomfortable--he’s been sitting cross-legged forever, and his hip is grumpy.

He stands and stretches, putting his phone and headphones down on his bed before he gently pushes the bedroom door open so he doesn’t wake Alex.

The living room is dark, and the only light comes from the hood light in the kitchen. Ryland almost misses the dark mass on the couch, and he freezes in place when he hears Alex moan. For a second, he thinks that Alex is having a bad dream, but that changes completely as his eyes adjust to the darkness. 

He’s not sure how he missed the fact that there’s another person with Alex, but he did. Alex probably doesn’t even know Ryland is home. He knows that where he stands, he can see them but they can’t see him, and he goes to open his door again when Alex slides off the couch and onto his knees in front of the guy he’s brought home.

Ryland has a wonderful profile view of the situation, and he notes that the mystery man on the couch has a big dick when Alex unzips him. A strange mixture of emotions settles in Ryland’s gut--the sharp stab of jealousy, the pulse of arousal, and a trickle of shame. 

He doesn’t know why he leans back against the wall with the utmost care instead of going back into his room. It would be so easy to do, but the moment Alex swirls his tongue around the cock in front of him, all rational thought leaves Ryland’s brain.

Mystery Guy moans softly, and as Alex takes him in more, he grabs hold of the other man’s curls. Alex moans, though it’s muffled by the dick in his mouth, and in response he takes him in deeper.

Jesus Christ, Alex looks good like this. It’s too dark to see his face, but Ryland knows the look he’s giving--the one where he’s hoping to be told he’s doing good, that he’s doing what you want of him. He’s a pleaser through and through, and Ry doubts that this is any different.

He’s not expecting Alex to keep going, however, and when his roommate presses his nose to Mystery’s pelvis, Ryland’s knees go weak. The sounds filling the room are lewd and wet, and Alex is moaning just as much as Mystery is, if not more. Ryland is hard in his pajama pants.

Alex is more than happy to swallow when the guy cums, and Ryland hastily stumbles back into his room, closing the door carefully.

He’s on his bed with his pants around his ankles and a pillow over his head in five seconds flat. He muffles his sounds with the pillow as he strokes himself hard and fast, imagining Alex looking up at him with that sweet, innocent gaze as his lips wrap around Ryland’s dick. 

Ryland cums embarrassingly fast, not getting much further into his little fantasy than that, and almost immediately after the rush begins to fade, he feels the leaden weight of shame in his gut. 

He’s fucked.


	25. Confessions (Egobang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Dan accidentally admitting his feelings to Arin

Arin knew Dan was a lightweight with most mind altering substances, but he definitely didn’t expect Dan to be so loopy after having his wisdom teeth removed. He doesn’t seem to be in any pain, thankfully, but he’s also like a giant toddler at the moment, bound and determined to pet  _everything_ around him, starting with the couch and ending with Arin.

Danny giggles thickly as Arin sighs and pins Dan’s hand back to his side again. They’re on the couch and Dan has his head pillowed in Arin’s lap, and every few minutes he reaches up to pet Arin’s face and hair like a little weirdo.

It’s not actually annoying--far from it, actually, but Arin’s pretty sure Dan wouldn’t be doing such a thing if he weren’t blasted on anesthesia. Danny seems to be getting sleepy, however, and unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be slowing down the face touching. If anything, it’s increasing it exponentially.

Arin gets ready to tell Dan to stop touching his face, but when he looks down, that protest dies on his lips at the sweet way Dan is looking at him. It makes Arin’s belly do weird swoopy things.  _Suzy_  looks at him like that. 

“Danny?” Arin says softly. “You, uh, you getting sleepy?”

Dan nods. “Bed?” Arin helps Dan to his room without too much trouble, but when he goes to leave, Dan whines and grabs his hand. “Stay.”

Arin sighs and he climbs into the other side of the bed. It’s big enough that they have enough room in their own little space, but Dan latches onto him like they’re both magnetic. Arin rubs Dan’s back in large, soothing circles. 

“Hey, Ar?” Dan’s voice is cottony from the drugs, and he sounds like a sleepy child. 

“Hm?”

Danny touches Arin’s face again, brushing his fingertips reverently across Arin’s nose and his cheeks, which begin to heat up under the soft touches. “Suzzzz’s so lucky to get to wake up to this every mornin’,” he says earnestly. He gives Arin a sleepy little smile. “At least this time I get to go to sleep to it an’ wake up to it...” He yawns and rubs his eyes. “Stay with me forever, Arin. Don’t leave.”

Arin’s heart pounds loudly in his ears, and it takes him a moment to remember how his voice even works. When he does, it cracks, and he clears his throat. “Of course, Danny. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Dan smiles and cuddles closer, tucking his head against Arin’s broad chest. “Love you...” He’s out before Arin can even say it back.

They have a lot to talk about later.


	26. Falling Safes (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: angsty as hell

It’s been coming for a while, Arin notes, when he thinks about it. He probably shouldn’t have been surprised. He’s been watching his best friend become more distant during sessions, unsure how to bring up the elephant in the room that’s been hanging over their heads like a goddamn Acme safe. 

Arin’s been watching the rope as it frays, waiting for the moment when the last thread breaks and everything in his life comes crashing down.

After the release of the latest album, the band has finally broken into the mainstream–they’re on the  _radio_. They’re more than just a silly internet comedy band now. They’ve done what The Lonely Island and Tenacious D have done,  _finally._ Lifelong dreams are coming true, but with that comes a severe restraint on time schedules and the responsibilities are piling up so fast that they can’t be run from.

It’s finally come down to the worst ultimatum, and Arin tries not to remember the way his heart sank when Jon left. He  _really_ tries not to think about how happy he was when he called Dan and asked him to take the now vacant spot as Not So Grump.

And now, as he stares at the man who was his fallback, his partner, his best friend, he realizes that he has no one left to fill that spot. Dan’s spot can’t ever be filled. 

Arin doesn’t try to plead with Dan, which somehow makes it worse, because he knows that his pleas will fall on deaf ears. He knows that Dan doesn’t want to do this, but he has no choice. 

When the door to the recording room closes, Arin sinks to his knees.

Above him, the rope finally snaps.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me a prompt at either egobangsies.tumblr.com or skyhillian.tumblr.com!


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